In Thomas Merton’s book “No Man is an Island,” he said, “Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.” That quote is one that really resonates with me–art is a form of mediation, therapy, creativity, and fun for me. It’s a time to relax. To let go. To create. To play. And I do often find myself in the “zone.” That zone where you’re present in the moment and you are so focused on the “creating” or the “doing,” that you pay little attention, if any at all, to anything else.
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Not the noise that was in your head before you started… that voice of “I can’t draw…paint…I’m not any good at this…” or the noise of cars passing by outside or the children next door in their yard yelling at each other (mostly it’s the oldest boy yelling at his younger siblings, mostly his younger sister–par for the course with siblings sometimes). Or the people across the street revving the engine on the vehicle they’re fixing or the planes from the Air Force Base. Sometimes I listen to a podcast, a book on Audible, or a YT video while I create, other times I just listen to instrumental music and/or RainyMoods, though lately I haven’t needed to listen to RainyMood because it’s been raining here on and off for weeks.
Yet there have been times when I have not been successful at shutting out that naysayer voice. The voice that wants to whisper in my ear that I have no idea of what I’m doing, that I am not any good, that I’m not an ARTIST and I shouldn’t be doing any of this–I’m a fake, a lousy piece of shit fake and I need to just stop and get real with myself. It hasn’t happened in a long while but it used to happen a lot. Especially in the beginning.
Back in November or December of 2014 I fell down the rabbit hole of what some call Hobonichi or Fauxbonichi style journaling, or what others just call documenting your life in a journal. I fell in love with it. I was hooked. But I didn’t have much in the way of supplies. My wonderful daughter, who is an artist, gave me some supplies, like Prismacolor pencils and Prismacolor watercolor pencils and it wasn’t long before I was adding little drawings that I’d color in or watercolor (learning how to use the watercolor pencils was trial and error) on my journal pages. In February of 2015, I had surgery (a hysterectomy) and was bed/couch bound at first, which meant cradling the laptop in my lap to write was uncomfortable, but putting the journal on a pillow in my lap was not–and I delved into journal and art prompts, along with documenting my day in my journal.
I wanted to make my journals more than just personal reflections of my thoughts and feelings, vent sessions, or bit of notes, ideas… I wanted some of my journals to be keepsakes. I kept at it. With help from fellow #fauxbonichi journalers I learned how to incorporate art, pictures, words, quotes, prompts…onto my journal pages. I didn’t want to stop there though so I started looking around social media for other ways to document your life in your journals. I learned about an Omni Journal from Rhomany of Rhomany’s Realm, and MissVickyB. I learned about world of Hobonichi’s, as well as Sketch Journals or Artist’s Journals or “Real Life Journals” from artists like
Gwen Diehn, Cathy Johnson, Danny Gregory , Liz Steele, and Gina Rossi Armfield. But it didn’t stop with books or sketchbooks. I found my way down the rabbit hole of paper…
Paper like Tomoe River paper, Mixed Media paper, watercolor paper… I fell in love with the Standard and then the Crossfield by Nanami Paper (it was part of their SevenSeas line), and then I found Taroko Design Shop on Etsy and fell in LOVE with the Enigma, which has notebooks with 68gsm artist Tomoe River paper. Then I found Brie from Documented Journey and she started creating B6 sized notebooks for sale in her Etsy shop with either mixed media paper, Tomoe River paper, or a mixture of the two. And I fell in love.
But up until this past year, what never really fell in love with was my own art. Sure there were times when I thought I’d done well. When I actually liked something I’d done. When I felt like I deserved a pat on the back. But I wasn’t consistently producing work that I felt that way about. When things really started to change for me was when I finally finished a journal from start to finish (it had been after a bit of rut because my dad had been diagnosed with cancer (stage 4) and my husband was diagnosed with Crohns Disease (July 2017). My dad died on the fifth of October 2017, just a few months after the final diagnosis, my mom was admitted to ICU the very same day… needless to say I was all over the place (between healing and grieving my dad’s death, trying to make sure my mom didn’t also die from Sepsis (she’s better now), and taking care of things, trying to be a rock and a shoulder…well, let’s just say that after all of that I did not remotely feel creative).
But when you’re a content creator you have to create. And the thing is– I love creating. I love Art. Words. Journaling. I love being creative–but I did not feel remotely like creating. I knew I had to do something, so I reached out to Brie and asked her to make me a customized notebook. That notebook and one she sent me as a prototype with Tomoe River paper in it saved my creativity–saved me in a way. Creativity is how I release stress, it’s how I reduce my anxiety, how I help keep depression at bay (in a way… there is not cure for it, but it does help me tremendously). I needed to be creative for myself, not just because I was a content creator. I still need to be creative for myself, not just for content.
The thing about being creative is that whether you’re a beginner or an old hand at it, there are going to be times when you get in a rut. If you can get back to what people often call the beginner mindset, the “let’s have fun and play” attitude the blank page doesn’t look so daunting. What you’re creating isn’t about what anyone else thinks, it’s about how you felt when you were creating. It’s about the process not the result. When I stopped thinking about the result and started concentrating on the process. When I started enjoying the journey I was on creatively and stopped thinking about my ultimate destination… I unlocked something inside of myself and I started seeing not only my journals differently, art differently, but the world differently.
Now, I’m not a professional. Nor do I consider myself to be an Artist, but I am an artist. I am a creative person. I Create, therefore I AM…In a way that’s very true, except I’d have to say it’s more the other way around… I AM, therefore I CREATE.
Art is for anyone… it might not be for everyone, just as music or crocheting or writing or any other creative pursuit isn’t for everyone, but anyone can create art. It doesn’t matter whether you haven’t drawn anything but a few squiggles since elementary school, you can draw if you want to… the only way to get better at something is to practice. Below is the video that actually accompanies this long post… In the video I talk more about how Art is for Anyone or #artisforall. I think I’m going to start a new series on YT and call it Art if for All #artisforall. I’ve been thinking about posting those videos on Friday, which is supposed to be my Fun Day, or FRIYAY videos. 😀 The videos will be somehow related to how art is for anyone… from beginner art supplies, to my favorite art supplies, to how to stay creative, to how I create pages, sketches, what I am learning, have learned or want to learn… my goals in regard to my art, journals…
If you’ve made it this far, thank you so very much. Make sure to leave me a comment and let me know what you think about #artisforall.
A Heartfelt Thank you to my Patrons on Patreon, as well as Kateri Ewing for her “Art is for Everyone” series on YT, and for all who have inspired me, helped keep me sane when my creativity was waxing and waning this past year, and for you… all of you!
I love your style and your authenticity. I have these struggles, too. Still searching for solutions. I’m all over the place with my art but I’m not a professional artist so maybe that should be okay but searching for peace makes my head spin sometimes. Just retired from a lifetime of administrative work with art as a sideline so maybe this isn’t going to happen overnight.
Thank you. I do not consider myself to be an Artist, but I do think of myself as an artist. I do it because I love it. From the moment I started adding a bit of art here and there to my journal pages, and then eventually working on watercolor–from the moment I started watercoloring I fell in love. It’s hypnotic. It relaxes me, reduces my anxiety, give me peace. However, there are times when I feel like my head is spinning, and that’s usually when I’ve second guessed myself. When I’ve allowed the self doubt and fear to control me. I’m a Journal-er at heart, and artist (as in someone who loves to create art), and a creative person. I love all kinds of art, from DIY projects to watercolor to writing to blogging to creating videos… The thing that has really changed for me the past few years is letting go and not being so serious so that I can have fun. I’m a rather serious and intense person but being creative helps me embrace my inner child and have fun.